When the Going Gets RoughPosted: February 5, 2011
There are days when dealing with eczema and food allergies just get to me. Do you ever have those days? Those are the days I allow myself a little pity party, and I ask myself questions like, “Why him? Why me? Why anybody? And when will it end? Will he ever grow out of them?”.
On days like that, I listen to this song, which was written by Steven Curtis Chapman during a time of great personal tragedy and loss.
The lyrics speak to me so eloquently and comfort me immensely.
This is not how it should be.
-My son shouldn’t have to avoid every day foods that most people enjoy without a second thought. I shouldn’t have to guard him like a hawk whenever we go out in public or to public events where there are people who don’t know about his allergies and might accidentally expose him to his allergens. I shouldn’t have to pack him food when we go to a restaurant. This is definitely not how it should be.
This is not how it could be.
-I know that, if He chose to, God could instantly heal him from his allergies. Better yet, He could have created him without them in the first place!
But this is how it is.
-Yes. No way around it. It is what it is and cannot be changed, no matter how hard I try.
Our God is in control.
-Sometimes a comforting thought, sometimes… it just makes me wonder why all the more.
This is not how it will be
When we finally will see
We’ll see with our own eyes
He was always in control.
-Maybe he will never outgrow his food allergies. Even then, one day he will enjoy a brand new body in Heaven that is untainted by earthly diseases.
This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey.
-Certainly, when I married my husband and we planned excitedly for our first child, we did not factor food allergies into the equation! No, the child of our dreams was healthy without any physical complications.
But this is where we are.
-And there’s no going back to before. Even if I could rewind time, I would still choose to marry my husband and I would still plan excitedly for our first child. I would never exchange them for anything in the world – even if it meant that my world would then be free of food allergies. No, he is too precious to me, just the way he is!
Though this first taste is bitter.
-Bitter is an apt word. There is nothing pleasant or sweet about my experience with eczema and allergies.
There will be sweetness forever.
-Thank goodness we have a hope to hang onto, something to look forward to. One day, this bitterness will be behind us, and only sweetness ahead of us for eternity.
When we finally taste and see
that our God is in control.
-I wonder if, when I get to Heaven, I will just automatically understand the purpose of this earthly suffering? When confronted with the glory and the holiness of God, will I even think about it anymore? Or will it fade away with the rest of my earth experience and all I know for eternity is God?
And we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we’re waiting for that day.
-And so, while I’m waiting for that day when everything is made plain, and all wrongs made right, I will sing in expectation:
Holy, Holy, Holy is our God!